At times you just want to clutch at what is at front of you.

Oh well, I really can't deny I have had happy moments lately. I just hate it that they're so short-lived.

Here I am, back in my room, lights off, music playing and here typing this.

I think my existence has been shrunk down to the point of being utterly pathetic.

I really hate these lonely nights. I hate it when there are problems but no solutions.

It's pretty much stupid, sitting here, writing these so called shitty poems, telling myself this is helping me and stuff. Fucking excuses.

I can't help but to look back at my life, look back at what I've done, achieved and failed. Really, the feeling of being a LOSER and FAILURE is just so overwhelming, I rather just kneel over and die.

See? Talking about dying again. That's like so fucking lame, but it's not as lame when it's true.

I want to run, but only far enough for you to miss me.

I really, really hope this is just a phase, so when it's over, I can move on, patch up and things can be normal again.

But what is normal? I can't ignore all that I've done so far, I can't erase it, I can't pretend it never happened.

This post has gone on long enough. Time to stop. I'm just repeating myself. There will be no answers to my questions, no solutions to my problems, and no cure for myself.

I want to give up. But even giving up is too hard for me now, as I keep turning back to pick up what I just threw away.