Jumping like CD’s on crack.

I really thought, for one glorious moment, I had gotten over you. Then, just by looking at your pictures, that familiar aching comes back. Bah.

Damn, all those procrastinated assignments. Noo…

Not to mention the business dealing with prom. Oh no, sponsors come laaa…I so cute cute, like that also don’t want give money a bit.

Classical Music Concert…MORE STUFF FOR ME TO DO!

Drum division…adoi, now I’m starting to have second-thoughts about it. Do I really have the time and commitment to keep it going?

Sigh.

Really need something to turn my life around.

Aku seorang lelaki.

Passed my driver’s test. Officially a ‘P’!! finally, after so long.

*yes i bribed, i have no pride. so sue me*

I have friends in holy spaces.

My name is not Victor Goh Li Chung.

My name is Church Giving Tool.

My name is Cough Cloth Virgin.

But I’d like to be called I Hug Loving Crotch.

These are my friends:

Choosy High Nun, Henna Fruit, China Jean Leg, Rehab China, Lab Rhino, Reheat Whiny John, I Hail Joy, Neon Loins (HAHAH) , Who Mini Snail, Ranting, Onion Wags.

 

Heh, no. I am not being random, those are really names of my friends. Letters just jumbled up. Awesome, no? See if you can decipher them.

“An Anagram is a type of word play, the result of rearranging the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once.”

Type in your name HERE and see if you can get hilarious results!!!

*i kid you not, my name, anagrammed, is really I Hug Loving Crotch.*

Some famous anagrams:

• George Bush – He Bugs Gore.
• Madonna Louise Ciccone – Occasional Nude Income
• William Shakespeare – I am a weakish speller
• Vin Diesel – I End Lives
• Clint Eastwood – Old West Action
• Elvis Aaron Presley – Seen alive? Sorry, pal!

Rape me in my thighs.

Fwaahh. Free periods are scary things, especially when you have no total self-control.

From FTZ to pool, then FTZ again in the afternoon.

No wonder my money flying away so fast la! Need revise my budget edi. SIGH.

Drum Clinic tomorrow! AWESHUM! Can’t wait!

 

this has been a very bimbo update. *hair flick*

*GAH! no more fringe, no more hair flick!*

Cherry cherry Boom boom.

This is so aweshum la.

Which college teachers suggests strippers in cage or pole dancers to be present at a PROM!??

Haha. ICPU teachers owns la. Awesome committee members, glad to be part of it. This is gonna be one heck of a prom!

And now, I found another reason why need to lose weight. Eh, don’t laugh. The last time I lost 8kg ok? Didn’t really slim down, but lost weight!! But because of college, makan and study aje. Haha.

So, diet plan and work out plan officially starts again. Why?

 

Need a prom date la d’oh!!

Exploding high-5.

…

In my 17 plus sad years of life, I have received and heard the weirdest and most bizarre compliments you know are just utter chicken shit. But this tops the list:

‘Yea, you’re Victor, I remember your name. You have a cute accent.’

…

I was just sitting there smiling like an idiot. WHAT OTHER-WORLDLY ACCENT DO I HAVE? I’m a friggin Malaysian just like you! Jeez!!

Projects. Projects. Projects. GAH!

Concert to organize. GAH GAH!!!

Practice for performance, not done yet. OMGWTF GAH!

Just took the most awesomemest shit. Like, BOO-YEAH!

Having sex in your mouth.

Friday. 20th March…

Lady Gaga’s Birthday! Brother Mak’s Birthday!

Outing with Gabs and Sherlynn. From bangsar shopping complex Chili’s to D’Haven for shisha. =) Lousy fruity mix flavor. But oh well, rocking company and plenty dirty talk. Ha.

Today. 21st March.

Happy 18th Birthday to Jiacheng. The man and the wiz. Best of luck being legal. Heh.

Went Skytrex with dudes. Don’t bother asking what it is. Google it. I had to climb 70 feet and do various crazy tasks that normal people can do which I can’t coz I was…AM horribly out of shape. Not to mention I’m acrophobic. Gahhh.

No pictures. Too lazy to upload. Heh.

 

 

 

i think, being able to move on, is being strong. I want to be strong too.

 

Inside-out.

Ah,to assume is a dangerous thing to do. But then, sometimes, assuming the worst just prepares you to accept the painful reality. It may rip up everything I have in the inside, but this is something I should shoulder alone. No, this is not being noble or whatever you call it, just helpless. I stand by the sidelines, cheering. Then I walk away, whistling a very happy tune, while the sides of eyes burn. Can I not act anymore? The script and screenplay are just too hard for me to handle. I want to quit. But I made a contract, a promise to myself. If what I fear is coming to pass, I don’t know what should I do for the next scene. But heck, I’m just being selfish…but shouldn’t I get to think for myself too? Must I always be the one who takes a step backwards, and watch everything get blown away? Oh God, I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know what to think anymore, I don’t know what to say anymore.

Come, Come my Life, under the canopy.

I woke up this morning, feeling kinda strange, like I’ve forgotten to do something.

One whiff from my armpits reminded me instantaneously.

I did not bathe at all yesterday. Stinko. XD

Waa…banyak stuff to do. Need to finish my phase 3 ASAFP, need to plan that outing with sherlynn and gabby, need to plan my drum club punya lessons soon and organize my files.

GAH.

Busy day tomorrow. Sorry for lack of interesting stuff.

FYI, I bathed 3 times today edi ok?

A little push and I’ll fart.

I officially hate manual cars. I don’t care what those people say on how easy it is to use or how cool it is. Fuck nut. My 4th driving lesson was a series of unfortunate events:

1. It was drizzling. So I thought lesson would be canceled. And I couldn’t find my favorite socks.
2. Driving instructor came in the end, rain sorta stopped.
3. Got in the car. Found out that the 2nd gate of my place was closed, had to make one BIG round to exit through the first gate.
4. While on LDP, RAIN came down HARD! Like someone up there was having multiple, hard gushing orgasms. Totally blinded. Fark.
5. Gear box was sorta cranky. Car kept vibrating harder than a sex-machine.
6. Arrived at the practice area. Due to heavy rain, place was flooded.
7. Did that stop my driving instructor from teaching me? No.
8. Began parking lesson. Halfway through reverse. Car died. WTF. Got step clutch what. Nvm, started engine again. Car died again. Dulan.
9. Smoke began seeping through the air-con.
10. Jumped outta the car. More smoke coming out from engine. Note, was standing under heavy rain.
11. Driving instructor went to check car. Apparently clutch was half-burned.
12. Finally conceded, decided to call it a day. Yay!
13. …
14. He asked ME to drive back. I wtf la. Clutch half-rosak, still want me behind the wheels?
15. Damn pressure throughout journey back home. Clutch was NOT working properly. Leg cramp.

We should just get these kind of cars for general safety.

Give more credit to chocolate chip walnut cake.

Woohoo. Holidays are here. =))

Kick-started the holiday week with ICC concert yesterday! OMG. Like, really, OMFG man. It totally made me jizz in my pants. Like, maybe 20 times or more. It was that good. Compared to last year’s, this year was phenomenal. Kudos to Vijay and his committee. Caprice mamadei la, One Buck Short was orgasmic, and Kings Cross flipped everyone’s lids.

After ze concert, off to the Gardens for TITTIES’s early birthday dinner. For more info, go to her blog la. Link is just right there. <<<<

But really, it was a totally awesome night, with nut-squeezing jokes and lame laughs. God, love her IOL’s. INHALE INHALE INHALE!

Hope you REALLY liked the cake. =)

A friggin big orgy joy ride. Brian Loh, you the man la.

Today, just came back from my cousin’s place, dinner thingy. Played Guitar Heroes: World Tour. COOLIO SHIT! Man, I want a friggin PS3.

Need to start my phase 3 research. Gah.

Hail Lady Gaga.

To drag along with both arms gone. Hail the persistency.

It is Friday the 13th. I’ma stay at home and keep indoors all night, least some mad vegetarian indian rapist comes after me.

Holidays are here for me, and it couldn’t have come in a more apt moment. This is the time I need to re-evaluate everything I have come to build.

So yes, it is safe to say I am OK now. Really.

 

Did I mention today was Friday the 13th? (yes, I’m very superstitious.)

Thank you for showing me.

At times like these, I really do wonder what’s the whole point of me doing all the things I’m doing now.

This was…expected and unexpected at the same time. I know the amount of effort I put in, but why, why does it always have to be inadequate? Or maybe it’s, just that, I can’t get what I deserve? Or do I even deserve it in the first place?

It all comes back to the one thing I have come to accept: I can never get anything I want.

What I want and what I can get or achieve are two things that belong to two totally separate spectrums. Really, I feel so bloody useless now that I really do see the need to re-evaluate all that I am doing now. What’s the point of me trying so hard if the outcome will always be the same? I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. Even when I thought I could be a different person this year, in the end, I really never did change. God, this sucks so bad.

I’m not being greedy or anything, but at least give me something that credits to my effort. I know I don’t deserve a lot of things, I know. But…really, when it comes to academic stuff, even now, I really don’t know if I should keep forcing myself to do all this.

Not to mention ‘that’ certain problem is still there. I still get sleepless nights over it.

Man, such a whiner, I am.

To take it all away.

HOMG!!! I cannot believe it, my classmates actually think I’m like almost 20 years old??

AM I THAT OLD-LOOKING? C’MON LA WOI!

OH OH OH! Birthday shoutout to LOH JIA YI!

Happy 18th Birthday to you la. Big girl edi. Cannot be so innocent anymore har. Haha. Best of luck for the upcoming future.

paiseh la, the only pic i have with you. heh.

 

 

 

oooooh…that feeling just keeps coming back. It’s fine, it’s almost like a ritual now. =)

I would if I could.

Please disregard this post, it’s just me ranting off again.

I’m sorry I’m not the son you want me to be. I’m sorry if you still think I’m some super smart kid who hasn’t realized his full potential yet. I’m sorry if you can’t accept me for who I am.

I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be.

So much stuff I wanted to say, but I doubt you’ll try to understand. I doubt you’d even understand it at all. Fine, you made your point, yes, I’m at fault. I won’t be so childishly-ignorant to think that I’m always right, and you’re wrong. I’m beyond that now. But sometimes, even you can misunderstand. Don’t think you’re all-knowing just because you’re my parent or just because you think: “I’ve lived in this world longer than you, trust me, I’m right.’

But are you?

Sometimes I really do wonder, what’s the point of me trying so hard if you can’t appreciate me for what I am. You never seem to think and consider the situation from my point of view or even bother to listen to my side of the story. I’m just so tired of all this. Really.

It all comes down to this: I will and can try to work harder, but don’t expect more than I can achieve. Accept me for who I am, or…

…just let me go.

I beg to dream and differ.

Survived Parents-Teacher Day. Went better than I expected. Guai low’s are nice people, but in the end, CHINESE people still the bestest!!! THANK YOU MRS TAN!

So very random, the following:

AKU RINDU KAT KAWAN LAMA KU LAAAA.

OK I know, I mean, we all get to see each other occasionally for outings and makans. But it’s so different la compared to seeing you guys everyday in school. Zzz. I guess I’m too tied up with high school, as much as I wanted to cut myself off from it. College is fun, and the people are awesome too. But the feeling is just too different.

Sekali lagi, AKU RINDU KAT KAWAN LAME KU LAAAA.

 

SPM results are coming and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS.

Ding and Dong are words you can use.

we all so lengchai and lenglui. fark off.

Whoa man. College is really demanding and challenging. Tsk. Barely managing to hand in my homework. Tomorrow’s Parent-Teacher’s Day and hell yea am I going to get complained about not handing in assignments on time. BUT at least I hand them in OK? Better than last time when I was still in high school.

Oh, and I REALLY failed my advanced function test. 20/55. If you take it as 100%, it’s less than half, so means EPIC FAIL. Funny thing is, my teacher will be letting me re-sit the test on tuesday. Why? Because she thought I was sick on exam day and couldn’t concentrate 100%. Fact was, I was really sick, but not to the point I couldn’t answer questions. Man, my acting deserves an Oscar. =))

OH, and i PAWNZZ the noob that sits next to me in English class YET AGAIN. Man, I know I shouldn’t feel cocky, but heck, I really think I can own him with both my hands tied to my back. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Got home today. Was sitting on my bed reading a book when this sudden, mad and overpowering urge to SHIT overcame me. I had my iPod plugged in, but I just rushed to the toilet, pulled down my pants, nearly ripping them and rushed to the bowl of doom. I sat down.

No shit, no motion.

I dulan. Very. Because I got shit urge, but shit no come out.

Suddenly, Benny Benassi’s ‘Satisfaction’ began to play on my iPod. I syok sendiri, bobbed my head along to the music.

All of a sudden, a torrent of hardcore bombs of despair and stinkiness raped the water surface of the bowl of doom. Now that’s what I call real ‘satisfaction’

Conclusion: Music helps moves the bowel. Owns.

Just like how Ulquiorra owned Ichigo.

The yellow sandal is on the bed.

I’m sorry. I hate this too. I just…

 

 

I just wish I could know what to do, and do the right thing.

H is for ‘this sucks so bad’.

Had my mid-semester Advance Function test today.

And I tell you, it has been a LONG time since i felt so clueless in an exam. The last time i felt that way was when I was still in high school, staring stupidly at that sejarah paper. Man, the feeling was so nostalgic. Having said that, I pretty much left the paper clean.

Like, totally.

GAARRGGHH!! college is not really all about fun and games. My phase 2 report for psychology is WAY overdue, and I have not even as much TOUCHED it yet.

 

I need to get out more. Whether it’s just gawking at random hot girls or shisha. I don’t care anymore. Overload this shit.

Take a doll and do a little jig.

I am very sick.

Yes, I know, in the mind, but that’s not what i meant. Physically sick. Flu la…zzz. Remember I said yesterday I was about to learn something from the rain?

Lesson to be learned: Don’t be a fucking smart ass or emo fag and stand under the rain. You will get fucking sick.

There’s a friggin unit test tomorrow. Advanced Functions, chapter 1: Polynomial Functions. GAHHHHHHHH. Even after almost 2 months of classes, I have no friggin clue on what I’m studying. Flunk the test la, that’s what I always do best. Hee.

This is worrying please show this to your beer drinking friends..
they may STOP drinking beer!!

Beer contains female hormones. 
Last month, Wits University and RAU scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. 
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. 
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain 
Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women . 
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour Period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing. 
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 
3) Gained weight. 
4) Talked excessively without making sense. 
5) Became overly emotional 
6) Couldn't drive. 
7) Failed to think rationally. 
8) Had to sit down while urinating. 

No further testing was considered necessary.

So bored now, I’m stoning.(Marissa,2009)

NAH! I did an in-text citation marissa! Happy now or not?

Thank you for the clarity.

Yesterday’s driving lesson was in a way, scarily awesome. I mean, when you have big feet, and you’re stuck in a bloody small Kancil, you’ll definitely have a hard time trying not to step on the brakes and gas consecutively.

Oh, and fuck the clutch. fuck manual.

Thank God i have a very nice driving instructor. But I think he has some sort of death wish. Only just after 10 minutes of telling me how to change gears and use the clutch, he asked me to get into the driver’s seat and start driving. So of course i freak out a bit la. And i thought he would bring me go some empty field to practice or something.

Wrong. He made me drive on the friggin congested highway. During peak hour some more with heavy traffic. If first lesson ask me drive high way, next lesson teach me how to drift issit? sheesh.

It rained. Today.

It rained when I was walking back from the basketball court. Normally, i would start swearing out loud and make a dash for it. But, there was something about today’s rain. It wasn’t exactly heavy, but it was thick, and light in a way. I actually stopped and looked up, closed my eyes and let the rain wash me. It was…soothing. I know la, some of you might say I’m crazy, standing in the middle of the road, getting drenched. But at that moment, my mind was completely blank. The cool bliss of immersing myself in that moment. I felt as if…as if I could just melt on that spot, along with rain.

Can’t really justify myself with words, but it was awesome.

I don’t hate the rain anymore. Maybe, this really taught me something. I’m deciphering it. Slow, but getting there.

To relive that moment, to live again.

It’s 12.20am, midnight. I’m here typing this. Why? Coz I like it. So sue me.

Hate feeling like this all over again. It breaks down everything I’ve been trying to build up. No, more like cover up. I don’t want to ooze weakness, to let my guard down, not even for a second, especially not in front of you. I deserve an ‘A’ for effort. Repetition gets annoying sometimes, no? Really, because I’m fuckin sick of telling myself how pathetic this situation is. To know that you already know the outcome, you know the truth, inevitable, yet desperately clinging on to some wild hope, lying to yourself. This is what I’ve molded myself into. Believe me, I hate it as much as you do.

The cause of all this? I don’t know. Not pointing fingers here.

To get tied up like this, dangling. I just wish those threads would break and let me fall, until I hit solid ground. Whether I break my neck or something, just let me hit ground so I can pick myself up again and learn to move on, even if I have to crawl.

Why? Why this? Why me? I could really just walk up and blurt out everything. I’ve considered the pro’s and con’s of that. Or maybe I could wait till the day she confronts me. Or maybe, I should really just continue to sulk here.

Do you feel it? Or is it just me? Closer but the wall is still there. Rock hard reality. Or just stubborn lies?