Hmm…desensitized eh?
I’ve been thinking, maybe it wasn’t any of their faults. Perhaps it’s just me. I’m too weak. I’m too soft. Getting thrown around like that, just because I’m being nice. A friend of mine told me I should toughen up, not to let myself get emotionally abused so easily. My answer? I said, Naw, I’m just being me, I can’t be mean to girls.
So that thinking got my ass bitten thrice.
Oho, the first time, I was asking for it. No doubt about that. The second time…I’m still not really sure what happened, but I concluded that maybe I was too soft. Lastly, for the third…well, perhaps my feelings had no value at all. It’s like, I get this hope, then it gets crushed. I get picked up, then thrown away.
And surprisingly, I’m not angry at anyone. No.
I’m just hating myself for being this weak.
They say three strikes and you’re out. I’m out for good. I’m never going to trust again. I’ve been easy on myself, and hence, all these scars. I’m gonna protect myself from now on. I think, I deserve, even if it’s just a little, some security.
Life goes on. But I got my armor on now. =)
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