As I took that turning, I lost myself.

Is it wrong? to wish for something you wished for last year?

No, I’m not wishing for anything of THAT sort.

It’s funny that I always used to gripe and moan about others, and never myself. But now, I’m beginning to see (albeit a little late) who I really am. And truth be told, I’m mortified, angry, perplexed, or whatever word you wanna use. I’m not happy.

I’m not happy of who I have grown to be. I’m not happy that I’ve made some so-called self-righteous decisions. Not just in my social life, but almost in everything I do. I justify myself by making myself the victim, never the perpetrator. I’m always on the right, never the wrong. And boy, am I paying for it now.

I’ve grown a little, I will venture to say that. I’ve grown enough to begin to see my mistakes and flaws. But I haven’t learned how to rectify them. Perhaps I’m just a guy who really loves wallowing himself in self-pity and doubt. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that things turned out this way. I’m sorry for my actions. I’m sorry for breaking my promises. I’m sorry that I am me. I’m sorry that my sorry’s aren’t even worth 2 cents.

So.

When the clock strikes 12, I will say good bye. I will stop looking back. I’ve made a wrong decision, but because I am me, I will look away, and move on as if never happened. Little by little, I might be able to redeem myself, but not in your eyes. Myself, I am to prove. There will be no ‘Happy Birthday’ for me. Nor will I say that I’m going to drown myself in my sorrow or shits.

I want to move on, and that I will do.

When the clock strikes 12, I will say good bye.

To you and to me.