I’ve enough barrels now, roll ‘em out please.

Little voice in my head says:

‘If you can’t hang on……at least throw me up, I ain’t going down with you.’

Fine, don’t believe me then. Sheesh.

Went out today with Cat and Spoon, and as usual my dumb Ferret was missing. Pfftt. Watched Tooth Fairy. Honestly, it’s pretty sad to see an ex-wrestler being reduced to wearing a pink tutu with fluttery wings to complete the look. All in all, it was a pretty ‘forget-me’ type of movie. Alright if you’re in the mood for a few cheap laughs at lame jokes.

BUT OH EM GEE! TESS, THE LITTLE GIRL, IS SO ADOWABLEEEEEE!!

Please God, if you’re reading this, bestow a daughter as cute as her to me in the near future. You know I never ask much. Don’t let me down. =D

Oh, and I came across this quote:

Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Well, it might hold some truth on some parts. But to me, once it’s broken, only then you get the chance to see the beauty of the little pieces.

And that’s how I’m taking it now. I’ll look at it as a beautiful breaking. Deconstruction. Whatever have you. And if I come across a certain piece that’s worth remembering, I’ll savor the moment, but it’s going back to the pile of broken pieces.

And so, for me, saying ‘I Love You’ holds no weight to me anymore. Let’s just say, I’m cold. Cold Turkey. Frozen Tuna. Castrated Cow. Whatever.

my face ain’t the only thing that’s screwed up.

THEN AGAIN…

Gwyneth Paltrow once said: The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends. 

=D Hello world. I’m back.

The indigo calculator killed his lover.

Hi…m..y….conn…tion…s..really……ba…

Yea. Screw you Maxis. Imagine going online like…

…

yea, another 2 hours of unstable connection.

I shall resume blogging PROPERLY when my connection gets a little more REALIABLE!

cheebye.

Crystallize the sky so we can break through it.

Little voice in my head says:

‘You shouldn’t be brooding about this…let go already. She’s not worth your time.’

I said it once, and I’ll say it again:

Asshole cheebye CHS office staffs and teachers are friggin unfriendly, unhelpful, downright rude, and are a bunch of grouchy old meanies. Diu, how hard it is to chop, sign and verify A GODDAMN SLIP OF SPM RESULT SLIP? GEEZ.

Suffice to say my visit back to my high school today did not help with the negative perception I have of it, let alone create fond memories. I still insist that I am perfectly HAPPY about leaving that God forsaken hell hole.

Pn Yap (my ex-chinese language teacher) :

‘Waaa…lichung, been living a good life huh? (stares at my tummy)’

‘Waa…Pn Yap, you also not bad huh? Now your size can fight mine.’

LOL. No, it was just a harmless jibe at each other. (…well, not on my part.) Congratulations Pn Yap on your pregnancy! =) and yes, I can still converse in Mandarin laaa…haiyo.

Finally got all my University transcripts finalized and sealed. OMG. took me more than 3 days to get everything done. Who knew getting into Uni can be such a hassle? After all the trouble I took, that University of Toronto better accept me dammit. >.<

Oh and I went to McDonald’s today. I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nugget wor” said the teenager at the counter. “You don’t????” I asked. “We got only six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?” “Ya lor…” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets…

This country needs help.

my sweaty after-sex face…or probably also orgasm face.

I said I didn’t miss high school, but I sure as hell miss the times we had in that infernal building. =))

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Little voice in my head says:

‘dude. you spend too much time thinking of a post title. see? now it’s too lengthy, moron.’

To thebestfriend:

Always know that I’ll be here for you. There’s more to this sentence, but you understand. Things will be fine. =)

Oh, and guess what people, I got my FIRST cheebye Parking Saman. RM80. Diu. And my mom had to make a big fuss out of it. (ok la, I know it’s my fault, but hey! for everything, there’s always a first, no?) She made it sound like it was a RM1000 fine or something like that. =.=

 this is how I’ll look like when I turn 80. Still want me?

Skipping work tomorrow. HEHEHE. I’m a bad ass.

When things become thongs.

Little voice in my head says:

‘Service currently unavailable, please try again later.’

meh.

I wonder how’re you doing now? Hope things are going great for you. =)

Is Klang a country?? I think the announcers got it wrong.

Little voice in my head says:

‘If you got a pear shaped body, don’t try to act juicy.’

Had lunch and shopping with my sister Vivian. Aiyo, sayang this girl so much la. You’re one of the people I’ll truly miss when I leave for Canada.

Oh, and University of Toronto finally gave me a reply email saying they got my application. WHEW. At least they got it, I was worried I got rejected outright when the other Uni’s already gave their replies earlier. Meow.

Well, speaking about friends and going overseas…hmm…I was commenting to my dad that how much I’ll miss my friends when I leave/they leave, and how sad I am. He said:

‘Why are you so sad for? You guys are gonna forget each other or drop outta contact down the years. You’ll meet new friends and new people.’

I was clearly stung, like, how dare you look down on our friendship! But then, I begin to see the little grains of truth in his words. I know we’ll all say, we’ll definitely keep in touch, and as long as we try our best, nothing will change.

Hmm…things will change, I believe, it’s inevitable. No matter how optimistic we are, distance and lack of direct contact will definitely broaden the gap between us. Sure, we have digital means of staying in touch, but then, that’s what it is, everything will stay just digital. Sigh.

Though I’m not saying I’m giving up or anything. God knows how much I love my friends and how much they mean to me. I was never good at expressing myself, so I’m afraid that by the time we say our goodbye’s, my only regret will be not letting them know how I feel.

So when that dreaded separation arrives, I’m going to bring as many pieces of friendship and memories with me.

Forgetting is scary, but trying to remember is harder.

 because pink brings out the best in me.

This is a witty line. Please laugh.

Coffee? Sure. You’re buying.

Little voice in my head says:

‘Sex is like snow, you’ll never know how many inches you’re gonna get or how long it’ll last.’

Good news: It’s confirmed. I’ll be done with that law firm by CNY.

Bad news: I got friggin loads of paperwork/cases to do. And it’s the weekend. ERGH.

More good news: This post is gonna get longer.

More bad news: I can’t forgive and forget yet. I’m not ready. In fact, I still feel…resentment. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the things I’ve been told, and then finding out they were all empty words. A bit of a lie, don’t you think? Whatever. All I can say is, I’m sorry things turned out this way. Period.

 See the resemblance? No? screw you. I’m anime-cute.

And so life goes on.

Jumbo did a split and the stapler danced.

Little voice in my head says:

‘You’re pathetic. You can’t seem to let go now, can you? Go fuck yourself.’

Last night…reminded me of those other nights. I feel very,very much alone. I feel like I’m losing touch with the people I truly care about and love. What am I going to lose next?

Lying outright with a straight face requires skill.

Life’s too short, Play naked.

Little voice in my head says:

‘Hi, I’m the little voice in your head.’

I am bored outta my fucking mind. (again, blogging in the office, coz I have nothing else better to do.)

Good news is I only need to endure this until CNY. Then I’ll be off to Beijing. OMG, why does time passes by so slowly?

Speaking about time being a drunken snail, I Google-d ‘What to do when you’re bored.’ (yes, i’m THAT bored) and I found this website with some pretty hilarious (albeit lame) things to do when you are a lifeless fucker like me.

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message (perhaps that funny shape is saying, 'send all your money to urban75.com'?)
See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.
Try to not think about penguins (my all-time favorite)
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Pinch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.
Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Make prank phone calls (hard to do if you’re in a very quiet office, like me)
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Have a water gargling contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Put a glassful of water in your mouth and see how long you can keep gargling for. Award yourself extra points for loud and amusing gargling noises, and minus points if you laugh.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition (WTF??)
wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.

I’m gonna try out a few now. =) Heck, all of them.

Oh, and I don’t really blog about football, but it seems a lot of people (the MU fans in particular) are moaning and groaning about the MU-MC match. Get over it. It’s only football. Someone has to lose. Sorry it just had to be MU. jeez.

and that’s your form of entertainment? I will never understand football.

I am rolling around on the table making Down Syndrome noises.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. =))

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Little voice in my head says:

‘The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.’

I got accepted into University of Victoria! =))

and just when I thought I wasn’t smart enough to go to Uni. Meow. Still waiting for the reply from Uni of Toronto, I hope I get that one too!

blogging from my office. I look retarded. more than usual.

I fucking miss you. I fucking do. I can’t kid myself anymore. Fuck. I’m gonna hate this CNY.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. So pee more. rawr.

I’m free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Little voice in my head says:

‘I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.’

Such a sad song. Tsk. Not that I’m gonna relate to it. Though SOME parts (ok fine, especially the chorus) brings back some memories I rather not have.

Sigh.

‘Are you happy now? That we’re history.’

The calendar of sorrow moved my furniture.

Little voice in my head says:

‘You only need to travel a one-hour plane ride to gawk at gorgeous bang-mates.’

Well, Penang, after all these years, still the same old city I remember. (the only noticeable change was the amount cars on the roads. cheebye Burnout 3 like that.)

Travelled all the way to Penang just to take my TOEFL english proficiency test. Now, I find it kind of stupid for me to take this exam when I already achieved a 85% for English in my Grade 12 cert. Like wtf? But haiya, international students have sub-standard level of english apparently. FML.

But, after what’s said,

I think I’m gonna flunk the test. $160 USD down the drain. Thanks dad.

this is how I look when I’m tired.

In a nutshell, let’s just say my ability to read and comprehend instructions are way below mediocre-level. Sigh.

Highlights of the trip:

1) Plane ride. I love Firefly’s air-stewardess. They are…just so bangable. They beat Gulf Air’s girls flat.

2) I still say Penang chicks are super hot. Took a walk by Gurney Drive and I was just…staring…No wait, appreciating, the ‘view’.

3) I had my authentic Penang Char Kuey Teow. Jizz.

Speaking of Char Kuey Teow, ONLY the Char Kuey Teow uncle in Lorong Selamat wears Paintball Eye-Guard to fry his noodles.

Because frying Char Kuey Teow is a dangerous job. I kid you not.

Deception of the constipation.

Little voice in my head says:

‘The yellow alligator took a nibble outta your plane ticket.’

Going off to Penang to take my TOEFL exams. Wish me luck. Will be back on Sunday evening.

So no internet surfing for me. Ugh.

Bye bye.

I’ll snake-fist your mailbox.

Little voice in my head says:

‘You are a fucking retard with computer shitz.’

I like my new blogskin. Do you? =))

Contemplating whether I should keep blog link or not?

So from today onwards, I’m gonna practice discipline. (yea, spelt that right bitches) Gonna stick to my old (or probably new) format for blogging.

But content is still the same.

Redundant and pointless stuffs.

I’m a ninja. Boo.

Thank you for reading. =D

Even flowers can’t save you from death.

That was the last favor you asked from me before…all that happened.

I returned the favor already.

From now on, you never existed in my life, and neither did I in yours.

Sorry it had to turn out this way, but if you can even comprehend at least 1/10 of what I’m feeling, you might understand…or not.

This is goodbye.

I’m a mess when in a dress……ing room.

Rawr. Just came back from college.

‘Buat apa you di sini?’

that’s the question I got ask. Hey hey, just because I’m not a student there anymore, I can’t go to college now issit?

Joke. Went to meet up with a lot of my old college mates. Gawd, I missed you guys so much. Those of you doing a new semester, you have no idea how lucky you guys are. I rather go for another 2 semester of CPU than work in that boring office. Sigh.

Met most of the lecturers too. Lol. Mr Hanna so nice, wrote me a reference letter, though, after reading it, I’m not sure if he was talking about me or some other ‘star’ student. Whatever la.

Sold most of my old books liao! Extra cash babeh. Can’t hurt.

I want to go back to school/college. Or at least let my uni application go through so I know that my future is secured! MEOW.

Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

I officially hate my job. It’s a bore. I literally spent the whole day slacking off by MSN-ing, FB-ing and Twittering.

Ergh. I rather stay at home.

And University Application is getting on my nerves. Ugh ugh ugh. (air hump)

I miss my friends. Like, this sudden upwelling yearning for their company.

Oh, did I mention I’m still pretty much not over you?

Gasp! no surprise there.

I sound like a 40 year old geezer coz I’m bitching about my job.

I’m bushed. completely. after this post, then a bath, then early bed.

My job? my work? One word:

BOOOOOOOOOOOO-ring

I kid you not, I have not seen that much paperwork since primary school. Ergh. Reading about cases that I only partly understand (hey, i dun have a law degree ok?), and what’s worse is, half the reports are in goddamn BM. Which resulted to major misunderstanding.

Example:

‘Selepas defenden dah disahkan, semua maklumat difailkan secara rapi.’

Yea, for those of you who know BM, that sentence seems fine. But to me, a guy who hasn’t used BM for almost more than a year, and sucked at BM back in high school, I read it as:

‘……maklumat diFAILkan secara rapi.’

At first I laughed out loud at the supposed TYPO. Then i paused, and thought, wait, this is a law firm kan? Where got make such stupid mistakes one? Then I read it again, then one more time.

…

…

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH RIGGGHHHHTTTTT!

Difailkan. Di-FILE-kan! not FAIL.

I yang diFAILkan. besar-besar.

‘The plaintiff then had LOC for an undefined amount of time.’

Then all those insurance law lingo. WTF is LOC?? Out of boredom, I messaged a friend to ask for his opinion. The reply that came back was one I did not expect:

‘LOC? Long Orgasming Cock?’

Boys will be boys. Heh.

‘The plaintiff then suffered Long Orgasming Cock for an undefined amount of time.’

Deng, no wonder people want to sue him la.

But heck, I hate office jobs. It’s not my thing la. I can’t sit down and just do work. Made me wonder if Law is really what I want to do. Ergh.

I swear to God, I shall never get a deskjob when I grow up.

 

Only blowjobs. =)

I’m looking for a fight. Better than this.

Tomorrow is the day I shall start work, bye bye outings and all. meow.

It feels like mid-life crisis already. I joke.

I’m still really bummed up. This…depression, I can only suppress it. How I wish it would just vanish completely.

Then again, I’ve been hoping for many impossible things to happen since ages ago. And I’ve learned, nothing ever comes out right. Bah.

It’s time I start acting like an adult now.

Mind you, ‘acting’, not actually being one.

Don’t underestimate the power of nature.

I had an interesting conversation today with a friend of mine.

Gist of it was that I used the plantings of trees as a metaphor of my so-called love life. LOL.

‘Now, I planted this seedling. I watered it, gave it enough fertilizer, and cared for it…maybe a bit too much. But then I didn’t really understood its real needs, and in the end, the sapling didn’t grow. Thus, bearing no fruits. I left the sapling there, for it to fend for itself, as I walked away, dejected.

Then, i planted another seedling. Now this seedling thrived and grew very fast. I was obviously very happy and excited. And when it bore fruit, I was ecstatic. But when i cut open the fruit, it was empty. Nothing inside. Just a shell. And so that tree continued bearing empty fruits, even though it stood there looking all so healthy, seemingly mocking me.

Now, after two failed attempts, I decided to plant one more seedling, but this time, I approached with caution. I tried to avoid any of the old mistakes in the past. The tree grew, and grew it did, into a beautiful tree. I thought, finally, after all this time, a success. The next day, without warning, the tree withered. Just like that.

And I threw in the towel. I gave up. No matter what I do, nothing ever comes out right.’

Might seem like plain nonsense or gibberish, but it makes lot of sense to me…I think.

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been in the dumps (again) for the past few days. I can’t seem to let go of my past. No one wants to be forgotten, but then again, forgetting and moving on is better than to hope for something that won’t come.

Sometimes you can't blame someone for moving on too fast, you can only blame yourself for being slower.

I tried, but I couldn’t press the ‘send’ button. Sigh.

Laugh and ketawa sampai pee almost keluar.

I WAS proud of myself. yea, was. Coz I didn’t really go out or lepak almost the whole of last week. Hence, less money usage, thus, more money accumulated in wallet.

In fact, it has been a very long time since I saw more than RM100 in my pocket, RM174.20 to be exact. So, WAS really happy.

Until today.

Don’t get me wrong. I was dying to go out, rather than staying at home and wasting my time in cyberspace. Sheesh. Met up with Aaron-Spoon and Xuanxian-Cat today at Curve. Had McD for lunch, which, as usual, i binged on Curly Fries. OMG. 2 LARGE curly fries, by myself. I shall die of high cholesterol or heart attack soon.

Then, went to catch Avatar-3D. 3D is a lie. Just call it Avatar. You pay an extra 2 bucks for the ticket, and another 5 bucks for the goddamn 3D glasses which you don’t get to keep. On top of that, i got conned, coz throughout the whole movie, I didn’t feel any 3D at all. Fucking fail man.

BUT the movie was good.

 

One question though: DO THE ALIEN FEMALE NAVI’s HAVE AEREOLAS?

Like, I was squinting and concentrating real hard to catch a glimpse of their supposed nipples throughout the whole movie, given how skimpy-clad they were. Couldn’t see any, but I think they do laaaa…kononnya humanoid species. The only disturbing part is when those 2 up there supposedly ‘mated’ or what we call bangfest in the middle of the forest. The dude is a human in a Navi’s body, and inter-species copulation does not go well with me. Ergh.

Cool effects though. 5/5 for that.

After movie, met up with Bunny, ee and corey for dinner at Bubba Gumps. Then to Library for Hoegaarden and chit-chat. Had fun. (talking bout sex-related topics. yeah, we’re 19 already)

Good company is not price-less. It’s expensive. I’m just saying. Lol. Seriously. Just one day, my wallet has less than 40 bucks already. Jeez.

And if you’re still complaining about the lack of pictures, sorry. I’m not the guy who whips out a camera for everything. Gomenasai. Chiak sai la u. HEHE

Going to start working next monday. Anticipation. Apprehension. Perspiration.

my working look. Fail.

I hope your only pain will be champagnes.

I, look into the sky
And I have to ask why
She'd go and leave me
Oh why do feelings have to die
Is it all just a sign
Of what its meant to be
Well I'm just too excited
The end of this can be sighted
She's over due for a break out
I better go she blows my brains out
Silence is a scary sound
Funny feeling happened today
So we'll bury it in the past
Didn't mean much, that much anyway
I know that love will never last
I'm, torn up in inside
There’s a hole in my mind
When you're not next to me

So I, hope you choke and die
On every single lie
And this is what you've done to me

Well I'm just too excited
The end of this can be sighted
She's over due for a break out
I better go she blows my brains out
Silence is a scary sound
Funny feeling happened today
So we'll bury it in the past
Didn't mean much, that much anyway
I know that love will never last

Aiyer. Why la why, McFly has to sing the songs I don’t really want to hear? Can’t wait for your new album.

I need to go out more la. Staying in at home really takes a toll on me. Bah.

And why la why, all my friends are leaving already? Sigghhh…separation is always difficult, but trying to meet up after that is harder. Tis thy sad truth.

I am W.Shakespeare BM version, cockfags.

OK, I am typing this while being slightly intoxicated. SLIGHTLY LA DIU!

Red Wine > White Wine > Beer > Whisky.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love Asha Cuthbert. I would make love to just even her arm. Goddess goddess.

I envy the fact that you can go on about your life like nothing happened. I want to do that too. Can I get lessons to learn that? hmm?

I should try drinking until I pass out.

Fuck the world, cockfags!

Fuck twilight too!