I got burned touching the iron puppy.

Hmm…

Gah, can’t control my feelings. I was never good at it to begin with.

Oh well.

I am a selfish bastard. No doubt about that.

 

September is almost coming to an end……

 

…

…wake me up when September ends. (haha,bet you saw that coming)

random photo. Yes, I still had the gay golden bangs. <3 my boxers. LOL.

It's that moment of the night again.

And now,

again.

I don't want to feel like this any more.

Anything but this.

If I have to fall back into this hole,

every single fucking time,

I give in to my feelings.

I rather not feel at all.

Because this is all too familiar.

I hate myself.

Yes, that over-used phrase.

But then again,

I don't know what to say any more.

I want to stop these tears,

that are so real.

Fuck.

This is how pathetic I am.

because I never was.

You deserve better than this.

All of you.

But

not today, not tonight.

Good night and bye.

A few words to make me cry, a touch to make everything alright.

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

FWAH! Monday after Raya break was CRAZY! Rush homework like mad. LOL. Met up with college mates. Awesome people la…make me laugh like chimpanzee on crack. HEE

OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!

I WANT TO TELL YOU PEOPLE

THAT

YOURS TRULY

HAS GOTTEN HIS HANDS ON

(no…not AAR themselves la)

BUT something almost as good as that.

I GOT AAR CONCERT PASS!!! HEEEEEEE!!!

FOR FREE SOME MORE WEI!! (ok la, i know you can get it free for those DIGI suckers, but hey, i got it like, no strings attached. Don’t even need subscribe the music unlimited shiznit.)

OMG MY *FIRST* CONCERT! AHHHH CAN’T WAIT!!

 

and, note to self: Do not publicly show your lack of knowledge on how to use a condom, especially in front of your classmates, and when you’re a guy some more. Friggin malu wei… ISH

Sorry la, I’m a virgin what. PFFTTT

Hey, how are you? I know, I shouldn’t be asking that…but…well, glad to see you’re doing swell.

Your love is the sweetest sin.

Was just browsing through my pictures when I found this.

Wow. This really brings back the memories. Dang.

We gonna bring down the roof during Halloween. XD

 

It feels weird. Lol. Definitely angry, but it’s like, i’m sorta happy that I’m angry? Makes sense? No…

WELL, bottomline, there is no bottomline.

They say Man can live 7 days without food.

3 days without water.

1 day without sex. (Ok, i just made this up)

1 minute or less without air.

but NONE without hope.

Yet, sometimes, it is hope itself that kills us. So should I keep hoping?

Ahh…I’m not too sure about myself anymore. Sucks to be me.

 

My chair is making squeaking noises. Woe.

…and I used to be funny. I swear I was. But then…I guess the past 2 years have really changed me.

(yes I was that obscene)

College starting tomorrow. SIGH. 3 more months…and I’ll be gone. I remember I was so eager, DYING in fact, to leave this place. Like, I had this wild fantasy that when I hit some foreign country, get into University, it’ll be like, freedom and all that stuff. But now…seems like I was in a hurry to grow up, and funnily enough, all I want now is to STOP at where I am right now.

Melancholy much? Hehe.

or

I think…

…that thinking is too much of a strain now.

Where’s my chocolate bar?

 

 

this post has no meaning at all…just like my other posts. Or maybe there is. I don’t know. I’m bored.

I said I was floating, not falling. Gooch.

I said, I’m half-resolved. Part of me says nay, while the other part of me says maybe?

Someday you will find me.

To Victor:

You should drop dead already.

You never change. It’ll be another same situation. another similar ending. Why?

You hope too much. You expect too much of yourself. You’re over-extended.

Either you stop thinking about all that, or just repeat the same mistake.

over and over again.

By,

Victor.

Red tape. Over the wall.

It’s hard

when you have to stop believing in what you believe

when you have to stop hoping what you hope for

when you have to stop being who you’ve always had been

when you have to stop telling yourself all that above

when you have to stop

fullstop.

like this.

HEEHEE

It’s ok. I want to try. Even if I don’t achieve what I want, at least I know I tried. I won’t repeat the same mistake twice. I owe it to myself.

Perhaps what I want and what I deserve, might not be a very different thing after all.

I want to smile.

We eat vegetable coz we’re poor.

It’s past 12 edi, so technically, all this happened YESTERDAY, but for the sake of easier blogging, i shall use TODAY.

TODAY:

Dimsum was awesome.

Charades owns. Big time. We getting too good at it. TOO GOOD. (and maybe that’s a bad thing.)

…INTERESTING DAY. NUFF SAID.

FIRST roadtrip with kawans. Destination: PORT DICKSON! LOL. FOOD WAS…LOL! ALL I CAN SAY IS: VEGETABLES!!!!!!!!

Jervis dam awesome driver.

Really,really gonna remember this day.

(and remember, all this is still YESTERDAY!)

And I lied. I think you should know. I lied with a straight face. But…oh well.

Guilty as charged, charged as guilty?

Well, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But what I got to say can't wait I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Yeah, I know it's kind of strange
But every time I'm near you
I just run out of things to say
I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Every time the time was right
All the words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Yeah, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But there's something that I just got to say
I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

Been listening to oldies now, like the one above by Jim Croce. Sigh. Music today isn’t what it was back then. Gotta hand it to the guys who’ve never heard of things like mixer or effects.

And you know what? I feel so bad. I am bad. This is gnawing at my conscience for a long time now. I deserve to have a 1000 pound retarded elephant to drop on me.

sorry.

I took a mustached girl to buy a red thong.

Charades.

Hands down the best game you can ever play, especially with a bunch of crazy whacko’s you call friends.

Humpatron. FTW.

I wish you’d look at me that way, you’re beautiful eyes looking deep into mine.

Telling me more, than any words could say.

But you don’t even know I’m alive.

Baby to you, all I am

is the invisible man…

Bring back the classics goddammit.

You got me biting my lower lip.

Knock You Down – Keri Hilson. <3

Tell me now can you make it past your Caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams that
Seem to only date the head of football teams
And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin'
We, were never meant to be baby we just happened
So please, don't mess up the trick, hey young world I'm the new slick rick
They say I move too quick, but we can't let the moment pass us
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
How could a goddess ask, someone that's only average
For advice, OMG, you listen to that bitch?
Whoa, it's me, baby this is tragic
'Cause we had it, we was magic
I was flyin', now I'm crashin'
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'mma ask him

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

Yea man, keep the music going. Though I have to admit Kanye West did overboard at the VMA incident. I’m sure all of you know. If not, Google it you frog-living-in-a-well.

Everything that is now, is just so complicated. But, I’m smiling, all the time. I wonder why.

Off to study. OMG, dam a lot man. Starting to feel the crunch of second half of the semester.

P/S: Yes sarah, if ur reading this, i promise i’ll promote your blog, SOON.

I don’t care. I still do.

New perspective, old skin.

‘It’s like…I’m a horse. There’s an apple dangling on a rope in front of me, so I run after it wildly. Just when I’m about to take a big, juicy bite, the apple gets yanked away.’

Sounds familiar? ppfftt…

Note to self: stop being so perasan. Won’t happen. Don’t give urself false hope. You’ll just end up over-extended, and tripping on your own feet. It hurts, but deal with it.

 

And Cassie reckons I have a punani face. LAWL.

Tomorrow Dress-Up : Vacation Day? What? Flippers and floats? Oh boy…

Taking in too much, shoot them down.

Wrote a long ass blog post that was supposed to be posted. But then, when I read it myself, I guess it was too…well, let’s just say it’s not suitable to be posted in a blog.

I’ll just save it. I know how I feel. Or do I?

All I can say for now is:

Corn starch.

XD

Secret. Valentine. Two guns.

ROLL IN THE A’S BABEH!

OMG! Sibeh happy la. Even my english got 80%, which was 110% unexpected. Wow. Wow. WOOOWWWW….

XD

And…well…

Life’s good for now. Let’s leave it that. I want to believe, not to presume.

We let the echoes do the talking.

Maybe, for the moment, maybe, I believe, I might be able to forget.

=)

I’m wearing Hugh Jackman’s shirt. I’m wearing Hugh Jackman’s shirt. I’m wearing Hugh Jackman’s shirt. I’m wearing Hugh Jackman’s shirt.

XD Forget Pink, WILD AND HAIRY IS IN SESSION! HAHAHAAHHA FAIL.

 

HAHAHAHA.

Mood five minutes ago: Happy.

Mood NOW: Worried, scared and OMWTFGKNNCCBWHYLAAAAAAAA

Parents Teacher Day in a few more hours. So dieded. Mr Hanna gonna screw me up, Mr G gonna give fucking low marks. Only left Mr Colin, to make me look a little bit better in front of my parents. If not, well, you won’t be seeing me that often then.

=’(

The chicken-butt man. Hehe.

Because we don’t know who we are.

It was hard to keep a straight face. Lol. Well, I guess you don’t know. But that’s ok. This means I’m better at lying/hiding stuff. A good thing or a bad thing? you be the judge. HEE.

It’s not a sin to wear pink. I like pink. Real, tough men wear pink (Eeleng, 2009). *Like my citations Mr G? bitch)

Know these guys?

 

Yeap. That’s them.

Awesome band no? I’m sure some of you went to MTV World Stage and enjoyed their performance. But what about those who didn’t get a chance to see them? What about those you who didn’t get enough of them???

Fear not, for on the 10th Of October, THE DUDES will be at One Utama doing some gig for some thing, I DON’T KNOW!

BUT MY POINT IS!

Don’t you hate crowding with people you don’t know? Wanna enjoy AAR with your friends, at a familiar place????

…

…

 

….

………

 

 

 

YES!

RUMOUR (but I promise you it has 70% chance of being true):

THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS MIGHT BE COMING TO TAYLOR’S UNIVERSITY COLLEGE SUBANG JAYA CAMPUS ON THE 9TH OF OCTOBER! PERFORMING IN CAMPUS GROUNDS *LIVE*!!!!!!!!

YES SHIT! All I can give away for now is, it has some thing to do with the Music Club of TUCSJ, as we’re planning the Battle Of the Bands 2009. Yes, we got news that they might be coming, heck, A VERY BIG CHANCE THEY’LL BE COMING! Besides that, we got local big bands like Dragonred coming to pitch in too! Hitz.FM cruisers and DJ’s will be there!!!

BUT!!!

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT! I will give you guys more information once I get my hands on them. Meanwhile, we’re trying FUCKING HARD to make this gig a reality.

 

Don’t you just LOVE reading my blog now??? HEEEEE

Pass this blog around and let your friends KNOW! We, the Music Club, need all the support we can get!!!!

Boxhead. Chickenruler.

Puss Puss. <3 Lol.

I would so DO Lady Gaga…about ten times, then after that, another 5 times, just to leave her wanting for more, another 3 times.

The world is such a bitch. Yes. And Burger King is part of the world. Not to say I’m a huge fan of theirs, BUT WTF, no free refills anymore? My cheesesticks, from 3 pieces, reduced to 2 pieces, and the price still the SAME? Too much la wei. Cheapoburgertards.

And if I hear ‘The Climb’ from Miley Cyrus *shudder* one more time…I swear…I’ll…I’ll…

 

oh shit, it’s playing. Coming from my neighbors’ house.

 

I try not to make my life revolve around only you.

The sneezing elbow that can utter two words at once.

I will learn to be strong. I have to. The lesson was learned. The pain was brought. The bitterness was tasted.

To not have the same thing happen again, I will cope. Because I have to.

Like anything else, everything has a shadow, a flipside, an opposite. Just like Despair is a reflection of Hope. I always give myself false hope, and in the end, find myself wallowing in despair.

I’m sick of it already. Though I know it’s not easy, I have to give up this notion in my head. People will cling to lofty hopes built on castles floating in the air, instead of swallowing the bitter pill that is reality.

Giving up is never easy, when you have nothing to gain but everything to lose.

COLLEGE IS BACK IN SESSION YO!!!!!

Friggin crazy day I had. Rushed homework and assignments like orang gila babi early in the morning. Met up with college mates that are jizzerificly FUNtastic. =)

And I had my Caramel Meltz Sundae. Happy boy I am.

That I’ve got to keep my feet on the ground.

My eyes are hurting
Cause the cheap nylon curtains
Lets the sunlight creep in through from the clouds

I just woke up. Feeling kinda fresh. Switched on my laptop, sat here waiting for it to boot up. Without much thinking, I just grabbed my wallet and checked its contents.

I have RM1.70 to my name.

Whoa. WTF?

 

Heniways. My selfish attitude has gotten me into lots of trouble before. I think, I should tread carefully now and in the future. Feelings still the same, just, more deliberation now.

‘Don’t laugh at poor chinese guy. You girls, when he take off pants, don’t laugh at his small member, just cut the condom in half. Gao dim.’

LAWL.

The red pill or blue pill.

Today.

I will, definitely, START my assignments.

because.

I have only less than 48 hours to complete them. DIEEEEE

Oh, and Happy 17th Birthday to my Bimbo Girl  NG HWEE LING!!!

we look dam cool yo. LOL. Bimbo forever!

EDIT

good job victor, it’s 8pm now. You’ve barely started. Go die.

I’m tired of holding this inside my head.

because I want to believe that my dream is worth believing.

Lolz.

It’s like an acorn shoved up your woohoo hole.

AKU BELUM HABIS ASSIGNMENTS KU! SHOOT AKU!

lawl. i dun care.

been using too much money lately. need to budget to afford. That sounded damn cool. what the hell.

I really don’t know, if I should take that step.

that’s all.

I’ve heard better voices, but hey, I think he’s pretty good. But the lyrics are just awesome!

Oh tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone just wasting time
no Friday movie nights or romantic candlelight
I'm just having conversations
with the thoughts in my head
all I hear are angels crying
oh won't they just sing instead
It would be wrong for me to say
I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
or hold her when she cries
I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her
that I love her more than life
more than life, love her more than life
Honestly, this won't do
how is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
but I know I'm such a fool
I'll just take it as a new beginning
but you know I don't feel that way
who will take all this pain away?
I know it's wrong for me to say
Chorus
Talk about a sin
was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time
I know it's wrong for me to say
Chorus

These summer girls are really something else.

I’ve took the first step.

The hurdle, the wall, whatever it is.

I crossed it. I really did.

It won’t be like last time, where I tried to scale over it, but fell back down, painted it with regret, and ran away with my tail between my legs.

I know, after I scale over this obstacle, it’s just a plain field. Nothing for me.

Because I saw it through the little hole in the wall.

But.

I tried.

That’s all that matters.

Yes. I like you.

Take that.

XP

I got some booze running through me brain now.

Need to stop the bad habit. But heck, once you pick one up, you need more.

T.T my life is average. no wait, fucked. LOL

 

 

‘Do you expect sympathy or pity by keeping that pathetic distance? bitch, grow up la.’

hokay…thanks for telling me that. I’ll keep that in mind.

=.=

 

And I really have to thank this friend of mine, Veevien, for showing me this video. Just when I finished my dinner party with the relatives. Sigh.(You have been warned…or maybe not.)

PUS OF DOOM

I urge you not watch this with a full stomach. I retched at first, but in the end, really vomited into my dustbin. Mom thought I was turning bulimic. (note: Karven)

I need to be honest. I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.I need to be honest.

Oh. Who’s up for The Final Destination? =)

Oh. My homework belum habis.

Oh. I’m very happy with my Law marks.

Oh. Fat liao. (what’s new? pffft)

Oh. Got my passport. (FINALLY LAAA)

Oh.

…

There’s nothing else I can say? right?

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was the suspect.

*inhale* *exhale*

Had the worst day of my life (funny how we always say that) yesterday. I really wonder how I managed to pull through.

It’s always so easy to say ‘Fuck this shit’ or ‘Haiya, whatever la’ .

but you know deep down, you can’t forget.

 

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

I had the WEIRDEST DREAM last night. It involved Street Fighter characters, A LOT OF FRIENDS, National Service, Gun fight (Counter-Strike Style), rescue mission, lots of crying, and…waffles. Yes, waffles.

And somebody up there just don’t want me to get my passport done. FML.

Drove all the way to TTDI library. BUT my royaltitties was …preoccupied with her new Malay ‘friend’. *cough*

And my Tap Tap Revenge application in my Ipod Touch just went bonkers. SIGH. There goes all my high scores.

 

As if life couldn’t get any better than this. =)